I'm not sure what's going on....

The title pretty much sums it up -- I'm really not sure what's going on right now. Life is crazy -- there's no doubt about that, but I'm pretty much at peace with everything for the moment. I can't change any of the things that I don't know about, so I have to let them go.

As for what's going on --

I'm currently on CD 101, being 71 days late on my period. I've done several home pregnancy tests, and they all come out negative. I'm kinda clueless, because I've had symptoms that could be pregnancy related, and then I've not had some of the "tell tell" signs of pregnancy (uber sore breasts being the big one). I've have had the nausea (but haven't actually puked), the sensitivity to smells (peanut butter - yuck!), and a little bit of weight gain (not good for me, already being overweight). I just don't really know where to go from here. I'm going to try and make an appointment Tuesday to see the Dr, but I'd still like to know sooner rather than later. I'd be almost 12 weeks if I'm pregnant, and I hate that I've missed that if I am -- although I'll just be grateful for the pregnancy getting this far, so no complaints there. What's odd is that even though I've been talking about us TTC, we we're REALLY trying all that hard. It's kinda been one of those things that was on the back burner, knowing that it wasn't that conducive to TTC living with my mom and cousin, and it would be better once we were back out on our own, in our own place, where we could have the room for a baby, privacy, etc. I'm certainly going to be thrilled if we're pregnant, but I don't want to be judged based on the fact that we're currently living with my mom and don't really have anything in stone as to where we're going.

Job issues -- Nathan has applied for some jobs in Northern KY, and we're desperately hoping that one of them comes through. There are several teaching jobs up there that I'd qualify for, and that I'd enjoy taking. However, a teaching salary alone would not be enough for us to survive -- specially if I'm pregnant, because I may not get a teaching job, as I'd have to take maternity leave in Novemeber/December depening on my due date...It's all up in the air -- however, the jobs he's applied for would be awesome in terms of giving him more experience and a great chance of promotions to other jobs, possibly federal government jobs down the road. I'm looking for stuff here in Lexington still, and working on a job app that is somewhat promising (I've got to drop it off on Tuesday). But there is so much to do, so little time to do it, and it's all so fluid that I hate to do much, for fear that I do the wrong thing!

Living Arrangements -- we're looking for a place to live here in Lexington -- although I'm not sure that I want to keep looking in case we go to NKY. I don't want to get involved with a contract on a house/apt/townhouse etc and then have to back out because we're moving. I'm sort of content staying here until the job situations are a litte more concrete. I hate living at my mom's (I knew that before we moved back here, but we did it anyway), and I know we need to move, but at the same time, I want to save money instead of wasting it, and we'd be doing that if we move twice within 3 months or so.

So yeah -- things are very much up in the air, and I'm not sure where to go from here.

If you've got any advice, I'd LOVE it and be grateful for it! :)

Please pray for B, D, and Little April Rose :) B has surpassed her due date (something she never thought she'd do!) and is awaiting April's arrival with D. Shower her with love and prayers -- she needs them! Also, for Kayleigh's family as they are moving this week, and still dealing with losing sweet Kayleigh just 2 weeks ago.

Out for now --

~Melissa~